Author: Pedro
Subject: Reply to: what a wonderful world.
Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 3:50 am (GMT 5.5)
the 'time-share' part needs to grow on me some.
In each stanza, the end of the first line and the end of the second line need to rhyme. For this stanza, how about green instead of white?
though, now it seems like too many uses of 'screen'.
_________________
Pedro Vera
Subject: Reply to: what a wonderful world.
Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 3:50 am (GMT 5.5)
the 'time-share' part needs to grow on me some.
In each stanza, the end of the first line and the end of the second line need to rhyme. For this stanza, how about green instead of white?
| Quote: |
| I see panels of blue with text of green The bright blessed font, the dark sacred screen And I think to myself what a wonderful world |
though, now it seems like too many uses of 'screen'.
_________________
Pedro Vera